Take the plunge
by lunatic2.2
Summary: After the musical, Will Grayson goes to have a clarifying conversation with Tiny. The translation of my recently posted story "Versuch-Irrtum-?" which was written in my native language.


the lights go on and suddenly i am back in reality. if that even exists, reality.  
for an instant i don´t know what to do. tiny is still standing on the stage, with d.a.w.g and the girl who is probably jane. the actors take a bow. for a while everyone is clapping. the well deserved applause for tiny. then, one after another, the spectators leave the hall and the actors go back behind the curtain. i think of the boy on the swing and ask myself if i can ever manage not to be this boy anymore. but that´s the general idea, isn´t it? you have to try, take the plunge, as tiny said. i, for one, want to try at least. and after all, there must have been something good about this boy on the swing. otherwise, he woudn´t have become ex-boyfriend number 18.  
gideon hits me on the arm with his elbow. I look over to him and he gives me this meaningful glance that says i should finally do something. but i don´t know, what to do. i didn´t plan so far ahead.

i: should we... go?

gideon: are you daft?

i: that may very well be.

i really am daft. I have just sworn myself to try, and now i´m about to cop out.

i: damnit, what should I do now?

gideon: sometimes you´re a real idiot. go ahead and talk to him. we didn´t drive all the way here so that you can stand around here so stupidly.

i nodd. gideon offers me another encouraging smile and then i start walking to the stage. on the stage, i´m at a loss again. i just stand there, a little awkwardly, and i ponder on what to say. but because gideon stands down there and probably rolls his eyes at my idiocy, i bring myself to go behind the curtain, where i immediately catch sight of d.a.w.g and probably-jane. i go over to them.

i: hey, will

d.a.w.g: hey, will

jane: that was really nice of you, what you did for tiny.

i: yeah, it was... pretty crazy.

jane: i am jane

i: i´m will grayson. the other will grayson.

d.a.w.g: i can´t believe it actually worked.

i: me neither.

d.a.w.g: if you want to see tiny, he´s over there.

he points at a door with the words _STAFF ONLY _on it_. _i give him a thankful nod and disappear through the doow. in this room there are a lot of requisites and parts of costumes lying around and actors are collecting their stuff together, wanting to leave. it is not hard to spot tiny among the actors. it is never really hard to spot tiny among a group of people. he is just not someone who is overlooked easily.  
i tug at my sleeve and walk up to him. he doesn´t see me until i stand right in front of him.

i: hey

tiny: hey

i: the musical was a real success.

tiny beams. i ask myself, how he manages it, that you just _have_ to feel better, when he smiles at you like that. maybe he could have infected me with his optimism had i just let him.

tiny: yes, it really was.

i: well, you worked real hard for it

tiny: by the way, it was nice what you did for me today, will grayson.

i: oh, that was gideon´s idea.

tiny: i see

i: he said I should talk to you.  
tiny: do you always do what he tells you to?

i look down on the ground. i´m messing it up once again.

i: i´m sorry. what i said on the swing. i wallowed a bit too much in self-pity.

tiny: it´s okay. you were right in some way, though. i am in love with being in love. but that doesn´t change that i was serious with you. and that you are a great guy. i meant what i said to actor-you. i want you to be happy.

i: i want that too. i really do. it´s just hard to believe that i am meant to be happy. it will take a while before i can start believing in it.

tiny: if it helps you: i believe in you.

it helps indeed. i look at tiny and smile, hoping that he can see in some way how thankful i am.

i: i missed you.

tiny´s smile vanishes and for a moment i get the feeling that i said the wrong thing. but his eyes are still smiling.

tiny: i missed you too.

i start tugging at my sleeve again.

i: so... if you´re still interested... if you´re actually ready, after all that happened, to bear with a depressed hardship case, who trys to get better, which will take a whole while still... what about we, i don´t know, try it again?

i look up at the large boy hopefully. tiny shakes his head, but he smiles, and not with all the will on the world would i know how to interpret this.

i hadn´t even been aware of that i wanted to ask this question up until now. tiny´s musical must have sparked something off in me.

tiny: if you´re going to stop one day thinking of yourself as a _depressed hardship case_ \- let´s try.

he smiles at me and i just can´t help it. in this moment i am actually happy, even if not long-lastingly.  
and even though i know that it will soon go down again, it´s enough for now.  
i bend forward, stand up on my tiptoes and kiss tiny on the cheek.

i: let´s try.

because who knows if the next sway with the swing will be an error or not?


End file.
